ready or not

Poor blog of mine,
You must think im a swine.

My updates are so rare,
It seems like I don’t care.

But for you I do care, mr blog.
You’ve been ever so faithful, like a trusty dog.

You may wish for a better owner,
You’ve never been much of a loner.

Have faith in me, mr online journal
My workload at school is infernal.

Hang in there mofo,
Do re mi fa so la tee do.

As you can clearly tell, poetry has never been my strongest point.
Updating my blog has become so difficult, thanks to the bane known as NUS.
KILL.

While sitting in a lecture, the lecturer showed a clip on an indonesian family ravaged by the tsunami.Granted the events were tragic, but the reaction of one girl left me rather stunned.

Sporting a pink tudung (traditional muslim headgear), she simply burst out into tears. Im not talking bout a few elegant tears slowly making their way across her cheeks.
No my friend. Im referring to the whole deal, mofo.
Tears all over her face and her tudung, mucus and saliva all over the place. Her pathetic boyfriend was embarrassed, but was showing loadsa fake concern.
Much to my horror, with a face resembling the chick in the ‘Exorcist’, she turns to me and growls, with gunky mucus decorating her face and headscarf, “do you have any tissue?”
It was at this precise moment that I pissed my pants.

Speaking of pissing my pants, in a totally unrelated story, I got myself a nifty sony ericsson k750i. It’s a beauty of a phone. Shout out to wong for recommending it, and bromeo for having it as well.

Here are some random pics I took with my lovely phone.

look at this pic of the library i took, for example. the quality of the pics produced by my new phone can put a Nikon 9,000,000 to shame. sexy alert! mmm on another note, some indian nationals graze on the grass patch you see. much like cows. i have a story about cows but thats for another day. moo.

lets highlight the intelligence and ingenuity of some NUS students.
"do you stammer?" umm...m-m-m-m-m-m-m-aybe...
"do you speak convincingly?" w-w-hat? umm n-no i s-tt-ammmer remember? how can i be convincing, unless i were convincing a bunch of deaf men to buy hats. and i'd s-s-s-s-cuk at t-t-that toooo...
"do you appear confident on stage?" ummm.....no! i have a l-l-lisp and i s-t-t-t-ammer.....what are you doing to my brainnnnnnn
"you're definitely not alone!" in s--s---s--stammeringgggg??!?! yay!

you guys suck, toastmasters.
more like...like..bread-masters.....yeah...uhhh

post footie...with the boys....this is the shit memories are made of.
not pictures of you posing and acting cool at some club with your homies, 'yo'.
dumbass mofos.

in other news, I cant wait for the holidays. Yes, school is that bad. Thankfully for the gf and mates.
im done for the day. Apologies for the dwindling quality of the blog.
Much love to all those who matter.
Esp. the gf. [much love gf. thanks for always bein there]
Lee unit.
Tra.
Nus boys n girls.
Klingons.
Unicorns.
im out.

diesel power

And so it has begun.

Another dreary term ahead at NUS.

The holidays came and went in a flash.
One minute I was waking up at 3pm, the next moment im bidding for cursed modules via the system of doom, ie CORS.

I had to sell my stupid 6230i to some ah beng shop cos it kept screwing up…gonna get me a new phone soon enough though. No grainy cam pics till then though!

So much has happened in 2005 that I really can’t recount it comprehensively.
I remember :

finishing National Service,
starting school at NUS
watching my beloved Southampton FC get relegated
getting into an accident with my beloved Fitty
losing the family cat, snowball
watching Slipknot live
a birthday of which i,till today,still cant remember what happened between 1am and 4am
countless fun outings with the gf

hell, here are some of the bests and worsts

Best Movie: Sin City – maybe im biased cos ive always been a huge fan of the comic. Hats off to mickey rourke and the rest of the cast.
[Crash and Constantine tie in at second place]

Worst Movie: War of the Worlds [a clear winner in this category] – tom cruise makes a movie about scientology, ropes in buddy spielberg, marries the main alien, i.e. katie holmes. Seriously, the most childish, fake ending ever.

Best Concert: Slipknot – breaking down the metal barriers with the boys and moshing in the VIP area, to metal at its purest. A night to remember.
The Bravery come in a distant second.

Worst Concert: Hoobastank – ok so I went for free as an undercover policeman. But still, it was a horrid show. And teenyboppers galore. Gag.

Best Album: Nine Inch Nails – With Teeth [trent reznor at his dark, melodic best]
Team Sleep (Deftones' Chino Moreno's side project) is another contender. check 'em out)

Worst Album: System of a Down – Hypnotize [I love SOAD. Loved em for the longest time. But when the guitarist keeps trying to sing, he spoils the entire album. Let the VOCAL-ist (ie Serj the Man)do the singing dude. its his job, mofo]

Staying true to my short attention span, that concludes my list of 2005.
Thank you,thank you.

Just the other day, we celebrated 1999 like it was the last day of our lives. Then came the whole hoo-ha of 2000, and the y2k bug, etc etc.

2004 was nice and quaint, a quiet dinner with the gf ushering in 2005.
2006 was spent clubbing with the gf and mates.
Not bad either.

I guess the thing that made it real fun was having the gf by my side. Its cool cos shes not just a gf, shes my best friend too. And thats a rarity. We laugh at the same shit, we get pissed off by the same things. Things are great.

Several concerts coming up in 2006.
theres Dreamtheater (good lord yes), Oasis(come on lads), Franz Ferdinand (fashionista/poser alert!!)and…Mayhem?
Recently, there was a big outcry over whether or not Singapore should allow Mayhem to perform on our lovely island.
Mayhem, in case you didn’t know, is an amazing black-metal band
People wrote in, protesting against them performing here.
I often wonder….
who are these evil, pathetic people, with too much time on their hands.

They whine about metal bands being vulgar, but theyre fine with internet porn, and pop bands singing about wanton sex.
They approve of Fergie singing about her ‘lady lumps’, yet make so much noise about a rock concert.
If you disapprove of it so much, you ugly, frustrated, stupid, I-aint-ever-getting-a-man-in-my-life, tit-for-brains woman, just DON’T GO.
No need for you to write in to the papers and make so much noise, to ‘protect’ your son from such bad influences.
your boy is 12, he aint going to the concert anyways, and he’ll grow up to be a pervert IT-manjan who videos girls on the escalator with his handy-dandy camera phone.
Dolt.

In other news, the premiership has never been this boring, someone please thrash Chelsea FC.

School starts on Wednesday.
Back to the meandering world of posers, fashionistas, Vietnamese students who suck, Chinese nationals who refuse to ever bathe, indian nationals who think theyre stuck in college in delhi, and assorted eccentrics.
Thankfully, there are the sane few, and these blokes make life that much better.
If you think im exaggerating, my lecturer for business law is a nutcase.
She refuses to let her things, or her hands, come in contact with anything that may contain germs.
She puts her bag and things on newspapers she bring from home, she holds the microphone and mouse with tissue paper, and, get this, when talking about murder, she gleefully talks to an imaginary third person and smiles.
someone give this lady a straightjacket. A sterilized one at that.
Good luck, boy wonder, to surviving another semester in the inner bowels of hell.
Good luck in fending off the minions of Satan, in the misshapen forms of the monotonous Vietcong, the cheena clans, and…the killer demons known as lecturers.
Apart from my dad of course.

till next time, have a good one.
Truckloads of love to the gf and the mates.
Boy wonder, over and out.