ill sing it one last time for you

dearest readers,

nus is really taking up all my time.
the exams draw closer and closer.
and the work and deadlines pile up non-stop.

i wont bore you with the mundane details of what deadlines i have to meet, etc, like some moron bloggers do.
but i can tell you that the boy wonder has to go on an enforced hiatus, due to his evil arch-nemesis...the school of doom.

getting around school is such a chore i tell ya.
limping and hobbling on my crutches.
today it took me a good 15minutes to make a journey that used to take me 4minutes.
my knee feels like its recovering, i just hope theres no operation involved.
life is tough at the moment.
nerves are fraying all around the place.
and to add to the fun, my genius of a laptop decided tocrash and burn a few days ago.
thank you mr vaio.
may you die.
after formatting my ton of...umm...educational material, i thought things would be ok.
the mofo of a laptop keeps freezing on me.
im thinking of trying the good ole "dropkick and elbow to the back of defective electronic goods" treatment.

my cast has the weirdest signatures on 'em, the one where my friend misspelled 'cripple' as 'criple' taking the cake.
thanks to all the friends who've put up with me walking at the speed of a drunk tortoise.
without his legs.
and with a 38-ton tank for a shell.

and thanks to the gf for putting up with my situation.
shes such a doll i tell ya.
never once complains about my behaviour.
you all knowww my behaviour is always top-notch.
pfft.
she just celebrated her 22nd birthday.
Happy belated 22nd birthday gf!
all nice and mature and demure.
much love.

my ah lian of a friend came up to me and said :
"eh ahzee lemme see your CLUTCH leh"
*stab her head*
after i corrected her, she said:
"aiyah lemme see your CROTCH bah"
*stabs her eye*
she is now a cyclops btw.
thanks to the godly powers of my iprod.
im the ultimate superhero now.
i even wear my underwear on my head.
*insert sikh joke here*
i joke i joke.


wtf is 'bah'.
why do manjan chicks always say it?
bah bah bah.
humped a sheep lately?
ate too much mutton dumplings?
had some fun with the rack of lamb?
volunteered to be a clone of dolly the sheep for some extra $?
come here and say that 'bah' word to me again.
and ill prod you till you become a lamp chop.


and they put random japanese phrases into important shit...
like into project emails
they go :ok we can do this blah blah GANBATTE
i thought it was a typo...
ends up its japanese for persevere.
who died and changed your last name from lim to hirotoyotakeshisakishimanimanumanumanumanumasaki?
seriously, i cant stand these girls who try and act all cute and japanese.
the only thing japanese about you, bitch, is that you got sushi for brains.
uhhh.

speaking of stab, my crutch has been christened...
the IPROD
yes..i-prod you mofo with my invincible crutch of doom!
*prod prod stab burn kill mutiliate*

damn im how gangster today.
must be the lethal combi of glucosamine and...codeine!
i love you codeine...mmmmm
you are my friend you make me happy...
when i eat you and go to lecture....my lecturer is a giant mealworm...
mmm....
with segments for a body...
and when i write down things...they come out in code...
EUREKA!
GASTON!
BAH!
GANBATTE!
i need CODE-ine to decipher my own code!
i need it!
must...have...
no enough.
mealworms taste crunchy.
ask my lecturer.
you really wanna ask?
you cant.
i ate him.

ok i must be going now.
*limps away on iprod*

till next time, which is probably like...in a week or two...
this is the boy wonder...minus a leg.
ps.check back for the most awesome story of the PRC woman in business who sucks up to any white guy she sees. no i didnt say all the PRC women...dont generalize you jap-wannabe you..;)..i said 1 bitch.

im out.
much love to all those who matter ( i should trademark this phrase, mofos)

and so it begins

tis i
the boy wonder
minus a limb.
Went to the doctor’s on Friday.
What is it with doctors and giving you immense pain when they examine you?
This elderly indian doctor practically ripped off my entire leg while examining it.
“Relax your knee young man!” he bellowed, his faux british accent annoying me even further
Yessss…I would love to relax my knee if I had any control over it and it wasn’t on the verge of popping out every 3seconds.
Good job.

The knee was too swollen for him to accurately examine it.
And on a side-note, my ankle was twisted as well.
I just never noticed it because my knee was hurting too much.
So he decided to put my knee in a cast
For the next 6 weeks!
Sigh
This sucks worse than a drunk paris hilton.

the boy wonder, a cast, and a crutch. what more could one ask for?

My knee doesn’t hurt as much anymore.
My ankle seems aite.
But the sheer inconvenience of the cast is so annoying.
I feel like a marooned whale. that shouldbe the name of a new pop band
Maroon whale.
anyways
It takes me like…4hours to get from my room to the main door.
I have to go one step at a time.
I feel like im a geriatric.
And using crutches may seem easy.
But trust me.

They require great coordination and upper-arm strength.
I almost fell and died in NUH.
Would that be ironic.
I didn’t notice a puddle of water and being the moron that I am, I happily placed my crutch into the puddle.
Thus doing a move similar to the ones break-dancers do when they challenge each other to a dance-off.
*does dance move, then crosses arms aggressively. Whuttt whuttt uhhh*

sitting in the lecture theatre is sheer agony.
I gotta keep my leg in front of me, instead of elevated.
It would appear weird if my foot were to make an appearance next to a manjan’s face, wouldn’t it?
Im just scared that knowing the manjans in my faculty, if they saw a healthy foot near their face, they may just eat it.
Ahhh arzish fengwei. i eat you ah!!

Limping around school isn’t the most glam thing to do.
Especially in the business faculty, which has its fair share of poseurs and fashionable people.
But who cares right.
It’s a temporary thing.
The bad thing is that im outta any action involving my knee for at least 5months.
Oh well.
even the best fall down sometimes

on another completely unrelated note, I HATE management and organization, aka MNO.
My inane group decided to do an entire project on…get this…
The CPF
Yes that’s the Central Provident Fund.
Im not even sure what they do.
It has something to do with money and banks.
God I cringe when I think of the material I have to read.
Do I really care about the service culture in the CPF??
I mean seriously, I’d rather know about the mating habits of stingrays.
And the worst part is that the rest of the group is just…so excited!
Argh!
Stab!
They love talking about the project, and meeting up.
They love uploading irrelevant, inane things about MNO and the CPF.
It kills my eyes.
Stop it! For the love of Beijing fengwei!
Stop it!
We have to interview some bloke in charge of some policy making crap from the CPF.
Seriously.
If I don’t fall asleep and die, I’d be surprised.
And what of my fiberglass limb!
Hi everyone let me interview you with my leg!
Here speak into the mic.*smashes dudes head in with cast-of-doom*

Have I mentioned codeine does wonders to me?
I got this huge pack of it as painkillers.
And ive been poppin em for fun.
They have the weirdest effects.
Sometimes they make me so sleepy, like brad pitt at his foster kid’s parent teachers meeting.
But other times, they get me all hyped up.
I do dumb shit like play the drums on my cast, or use the telephone wire as a catapult to fling around my bluetooth headset.
Fun!!

Did I mention I hate MNO?

Here check out the worlds most inane, boring, worst survey ever.

All students taking MNO had to do it.

God it killed me.

I drooled and almost died.

(click to enlarge) Part 1 of the most boring survey ever. my eyes they burn. note my random button clicking. resulted in a pretty pattern of ticks

Part 2 of the most boring survey ever.

Yes. It was that bad.
My leg is so itchy.
But its in a cast.
I wanna scratch my knee, but I cant.
God.
5weeks and several days to go.
The countdown begins.
*stabs cast with pen. Die you unholy union of fiberglass and plaster-of-paris! DIE!*

so if you see a limping, wounded boy wonder, dragging his huge cast along the floors of the business faculty…
be wary of his ‘invincible-stick-of-power-and-doom’.
Or what you boring people refer to as a crutch.
Pffft.
Crutch.
How uncreative.

When I was very young, my Chinese kid neighbor asked me to play “crutttching” with him.
So I went with him and two other guys.
To the playground.
I was all prepared for some new and intriguing game.
So when manjan boy #2 ran towards me and said “hak hak tag you are it! Hak hak lessssss play cruttchinggg”, I realized, to my annoyance, the dolt meant lets play ‘catching’.

Stab I say.
*waves crutch menacingly*

ok gots ta go.

For some sexxxy time with my crutchhhh.
I joke.

More MNO beckons.
disembowel i say.
kill.

thanks to all my mates who help me buy stuff and carry stuff in school
and to the girlfriend...
what would i do without you?
you care for me so much, without expecting anything in return.
thank you.

Love to all those who matter.
im out.

injury time

my new ear stud.



my new belt.



my new set of wheels.



my new friends.



my all time favourite person.

new things suck.

[note to self.
never try and do a fancy flick with the ball on an uneven football field.
screws up the knee ligaments reallll bad.]

boy wonder relieved of superhero duties.
for the time being.
although "bionic-crutch-man" does have a ring to it.
much love to all those that matter.
im out.