what i got

readers readers readers
returned I have, along with a tale or two.
heres a post to last you for a while.

Its the examinations period here in lovely NUS.
You know what that means.
The single most intense display of ‘mugging’ by a collective group of individuals ever seen in the history of mankind.

These kids make those at Harvard seem like a bunch of pansies.
How do you know this, oh boy wonder?
Well, my good man, its because I did summer school in Harvard a few years back.
The kids here make those ivy-leaguers look like a bunch of inebriated, uncoordinated platypuses.
Kids in NUS sleep overnight on benches, study while eating in the canteen, etc.
Cyborgs of satan they are.

Here I am, once again in the library, and what am I doing?
Playing football manager on the laptop[come on southampton!divsion 1 champs!comeon!] and typing this.
Yes.
You go boy wonder.

There are a ton of people here with textbooks on physics and engineering.
Business library you say?
NAY.

More people here are aware of the mechanics of building a bridge than say the mechanics of a long-term fixed income investment.

Oh and don’t get me started on the default language.
*for all you pansy self-righteous fags, this is the part you can skip. Dolts*

the girl next to me is reading her lianhe wanbaobaocupnoodle newspaper.
The guy diagonal to me is reading his email in mandarin.
There is the sporadic chirping of the viets. (their language is strangely birdlike. Its how I’d imagine ostriches would speak, if ever)
And to top it off, theres our brilliant Indian scholars, who have obviously finished revising everything for the 35^th time, and are now just reading the textbooks ‘for leisure’.
Funny thing bout the Indians is that they cant judge the loudness of their voice when they receive phone calls

Ring ring.
“HELLO! Hah im in the library yaar. Yah the LIBRAAAARY you know!”
*people stare at the dude*
“OH I think im being too loud…(TRIES to whisper) Haah I’ll meet you at the canteen we’ll have some CHA(tea)” (the whisper tone is even worse. Its like he’s shouting, but with a sore throat. Imagine barry white shouting for help while youre choking him. Interesting thought)

anyways those are my observations of the library formerly known as the Business library.
They’ve renamed it to the ‘Science-asian Policies-Engineering-Real estate-Medicine’ library. Aka the SPERM.
Awesome acronym I came up with all on my own.
I rock.

“eh I meet you at sperm lor!!! Faster go there if not no more left!”
“what like no more sperm?”
“eeeee you dirty lehh eee yerrrr dirty minded eeeeeee”
stab,kill,break neck, all simultaneously.

Just now the guys and I were studying at some bench.
This FAT chick walked by (on a side note, in school, theres the fashionistas, and then..theres…the…FATshionistas. fat slobs who try and wear fashionable flowy clothes to disguise the immense mounds of blubber in their mid regions, and well as sometimes on their Face)

So anyways this girl was walking with some loser guys and she said

"eh tat dae I felt naughty lor so I kiss one Swedish guy! Then I run off with my friends!! Fun leh!”
guys->”wah!!!!”
what they meant-> “wah! I hope you feel naughty while we’re studying later! Then you can rub off some of your blubber on my forehead!!!!! Wah!!!”

to top it off, my idiot friend next to me, obviously hard of hearing, exclaimed,
“wah where the girl eat Swedish meatball from leh! I also want! Meatball!”

ah the life and times of a business student in nus.
Sigh.

There are the good points of course.
Ive got a good group of friends, and soccer mates.
I avoid gay ‘friend-making’ functions and activities like the plague.
I feel I have enough friends and a great gf , so that’s taken care of.
I also boycott stupid events like night-cycling.
Seriously, you want me to cycle around Singapore at night, and leave the crucial directions to people who cant spell properly?

The ad for the cycling read
“come 4 our nite-cyling!”
cyling
Yes. A mix of cycling and dying.

On another, more amazing note

I went to Bangladesh for a wedding right.
good stuff, loadsa fun.
Weddings are always fun.
Awesome food, nice song/dance, fancy clothes and 5star restaurants.
Great fun.

but I went at like the worst time.
I went when the government was stepping down, and the opposition party was protesting against the interim government.
Which meant.
ULTIMATE CHAOS.

People were dying everywhere.
The death toll was like 40 over 2 days, and cars were set on fire everywhere.
People were just throwing bricks into random cars, and setting stuff on fire.

The worst was when they took these huge sticks and beat people with them.
I don’t mean like…tiny branches from the trees which you use to hit your primary school friend with (or maybe it was only me)

I mean these huge bamboo poles.
And they would beat people on the head till they frikkin DIED.
It was caught on tape.

Thanks to the worlds most awesome invention, ie YOUTUBE, you can see it here:

watch the last part it is the shit.
(btw I cant understand the newscaster people. My Bengali is limited to basic phrases such as “how do I stop the burning sensation on my tongue” and “im sorry I stepped on your pet rat”. If im lucky, I can say “auntie, your chicken briyani can match that made in the heavens by the angels who are designated as cooks because theyre a bit ‘soft’ but aren’t sent down to earth since theyre not gay or anything, considering the fact that angels are sexless. Could I have some more?”)

And finally, I somehow returned[another awesome story for another awesome day] to find that my lovely mother had had a minor accident with my beloved Julio, aka mazda 3.
[code-name wondermobile…maybe I could get the people at wonderbra to sponsor it. Hello undergarment-models. hellooo nurse. (sleazy tone)]

Apparently she forgot that I had disabled its “superhero” functions, since I wasn’t in town.
Thus, she attempted to fly the car without the ‘wonder-wings’ function enabled.
Resulting in:

Yup it came out in the newspaper and on stomp, the world’s lamest site.

“aiyah I take picture of my nose hair and the pimple on my inner thigh lor! I send to stomp!!”

so now I am carless for a while.
The damages came to $42,000.
Yup. Forty two thousand dollars.
Julio you idiot I told you to lay off the Courvoisier didn’t i.
moron.

Here are five albums im listening to now, just felt I’d randomly put it here.
(I’ll do this once in a while, to keep you people entertained)

1. justin timberlake - futuresex/lovesound(the white boys got grooves. And t.i. is my boy so the album is pretty tight) [single to get (aka download) – my love]

2. chamillionaire - the sound of revenge – (a mediocre album. sometimes he sounds too much like fitty. But some beats are hot) [single to get (aka download) – frontin’ (no not pharrell the fag’s one)...no snitchin'(great sample)]

3. zero 7 – simple things (great chill-out music by england’s best kept secret, apart from thievery corporation and girls that aren’t fat.) [single to get (aka download) – in the waiting line]

4. stabbing westwards – darkest days (brilliant, loud rock. Loving it) [single to get (aka download) – save yourself]

5. audioslave – revelations (decent rock, morello comes up with some solid riffs, and cornell still has a great voice. But still, every time I hear audioslave, im reminded of RATM and soundgarden (for obvious reasons), and I have to admit, nothing they’ve made can ever match stuff by RATM and soundgarden. Not yet at least.) [single to get (aka download) – jewel of the summer time]

ok so anyways that’s it for the time being.
I really must get back to studying.
or aimlessly observing people’s little idiosyncrasies.
whichever tickles my fancy.

till next time [which will be after the exams, ending dec 4^th]
much love to all those who matter.
especially le gf extraordinaire.
and the boys.
im out.