plush

considering it’s the holidays, you’d expect me to update my blog more often.
but noooo.

i came up with this equation a few minutes back.

L = k*Ft, where L = Laziness factor, k = constant, Ft = Free time

yes.
this means that the more and more free time I have, the lazier I get.

so whats been up.
heres my daily schedule.
it is awesome.

2pm: awaken

2.30pm: demand some form of food from whoever is in earshot

3pm: begin playing ps2

4.30pm: 10 minute break to rest my aching, watery eyes

4.40pm: more ps2

6pm: begin reading a book, just in time for the returning-from-work parents to see me doing so.

6.05pm: enough reading. more ps2.

7.30pm: dinner beckons.

8.30pm: begin surfing the net and downloading stuff

10pm: start watching a movie I got off the net or some dvd I bought

1am: think about how lazy ive become

1.01am: get the munchies. snack time.

2am: just enough time for another movie.

4.55am: converse with some imaginary friends who live in my cupboard

5am: time for sleep

there isn’t much variation.

i meet the gf a couple of times per week, and catch up with friends as well.
This is the life.

i think if I continued this lifestyle for a couple more months, i’d grow to the size of a blimp, only with less brain than a plank of wood.

school results were pretty decent.
As and Bs thankfully.
somehow, I got into the honors program.
thus, school is until Year 4 for me.
yes thanks im a douche pat my back.

i hope paris hilton has some form of a video camera in her jail cell.
mmm.
come on you guys know you dig her.
don’t give me that “oooh shes soooo ugly blah blah”
you’d tap that.

george clooney is really not that hot.
seriously, hes like a senior citizen.
ive seen uncles doing their early morning taichi who look like him.

i hate how all girls think brad pitt is dying to be with them.
hes with angelina you dunce.
No.
Take that back.
She is sooooo not a slut.
TAKE IT BACK.

if you thought our local fhm was bad, give New Man a try.
heres what I did with the one issue of new man I mistakenly purchased.
i tore all the pages out.
then using an advanced scientific technique, i joined all these pages together to form an effective paper-sword.
i tested this sword on the neighbour’s annoying dog, named ‘Ah Dock’.
he is no more.
then, i stabbed my own eyes out for having witnessed the rubbish that is New Man.
now, I type aided by super advanced vision-giving goggles i stole from the black dude on star trek.

there are too many fat chicks who think its okay to wear revealing clothes.
yes you are confident with your body.
Good on you.
but are you aware that your siblings, i.e. moby dick, baloo the bear and the marshmallow man, dont really approve?
it would help if you covered up that 8^th roll of fat.
put away the krispy kreme that laura “from the US!!” bought you.
that shit is dangerous.

why do people read the newspapers when theyre sitting at a restaurant with friends?
yes you doofus I know youre educated and aware of whats going on in the NYSE.
but seriously.
at the dinner table, while your friends are talking to you?
Come on mate.
what exactly are you trying to prove?
everyone knows its just for show.
maybe youre lisp makes you feel “in-the-cure”
What was that?
“in-the-cure”
right.
Not insecure?
“that’s what I said…in-the-cure”
good on ya, lispoid.

Torrents.
I wanna publicly thank whoever came up with torrents.
They are the way to go.
Thank you unknown techie.
You are a god.

ok heres a couple of albums ive ‘heard’ recently:

Nine Inch Nails – Year Zero
One of the best bands on the planet. Fullstop.
This album however, is kinda disappointing, given the brilliance that was ‘With Teeth’. I think trent reznor is lacking the conviction and pain he had in previous albums.
Standout track – Capitol G

Lloyd Banks – Rotten Apple
G-unit’s best looker repeats the formula that has become mainstream rap.
A couple of good songs, nothing much else. G-g-g-g-g-g-g unitttttttttttt!
Standout tracks – Addicted, Make A Move

Deftones – Saturday Night Wrist
I love these guys, and think Chino is brilliant.
Having said that, this album is one of their worst. Its just too much noise, no direction.
Standout track – Kimdracula

Modest Mouse – We Were Dead Before The Ship Sank
Indie’s new IT band.
Theyre on the covers of loads of mags, and I must say, some of the hype is justified. I liked this much more than their debut outing, but still feel they have some way to go.
Standout tracks – Little Motel, Dashboard

Incubus – Light Grenades
Obviously I have a soft spot for brandon boyd and gang. I did make the effort to go to KL to watch them after all. But the quality of the songs on this album are just not up to the mark of ‘Make Yourself’ and ‘Morning View’. Come on lads! Up your game!
Standout tracks – Dig, Oil and Water

Ok that’s really it for now.
Gf is back from her trip so all is good in the boy wonder’s life.
Need to party up this week.
Knee op on June 8^th is gonna put me out of action for a while.

im a super hero.
Its what I do.
Knee ops are part and parcel of this line.

aite that’s it.
im out.
much love to all those who matter.

rehab

sometimes i feel the need
to reinvent myself
with the hope that
something better will emerge.
often i dont know
if i want to be a new 'me'
for myself,
or for others.

does this mean im simply unhappy with what I am?
or is it more a case of trying my utmost
to be the best that I can be.

on hindsight, I may have been a bit harsh on leon best.
hes a youngster, and at least he had the guts to try and take a penalty.
ive been there, scored, as well as missed, before.
so heres to Southampton FC coming back up next year.
theyre just not ready this time around.

the gf is overseas, thus im pretty much left alone.
so this is what she feels when I leave her (pretty often) to go overseas.
good job boy wonder.
got my tix for NYC, 25th july - 7august.
a good break away from the monotony that is singapore.

my knee is preventing me from playing football.
somehow, I feel the most free when im playing football.
it doesn’t have to be even on the field.
it can be a kick-about on the courts.
i can just express myself in any way i feel, without any repercussions.
i guess musicians and poets have a similar freedom when theyre doing their thing.

studying and academia is all good and dandy.
and definitely they should be most peoples’ priority.
but I think everyone needs that one thing that is an outlet for them.
to relieve stress, to build momentum.
to reminisce, to re-evaluate.
to let go, to ponder.
to regret, to look forward to the future.

i know this post is rather philosophical.
a far cry from my usually humorous entries.

but I just felt I had to share.
surely you wont hold it against me?

p.s. im sorry liverpool fans.
im saying ac milan are gonna take the cup.
here are 5 reasons.

1. seedorf
2. kaka
3. gattuso
4. pirlo
5. inzaghi

good luck nonetheless, you scousers.

the pain of defeat

ive just watched the saints lose on a penalty shootout to derby county in the playoff semi finals.

i have one thing to say.

leon best is a talentless dickhead. yes. southamptons young striker is a moron. an imbecile.
a crap player. hes too busy having tattoos all over his neck and arms to care about football.

in the crucial match(2nd leg), he scored A RIDICULOUS OWN GOAL.
late on in extra time, HE SQUANDERED A ONE ON ONE.
and then
during the penalty shootout, HE VOLUNTEERS TO BE FIRST TO TAKE ONE.
GUESS WHAT.
HE MISSES.
he puts it WIDE.

please saints, sell him.
kill him.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
i hate football.
HATE it.
it gives me too much pain, physically and mentally.
another sleepless night beckons, imagining what couldve been if saints made it to the premier league.
if i have any nightmares, it'll definitely feature leon best.
im out.

when darkness falls

brilliant
my beloved Southampton FC have made it to the Playoffs.
Fantastic.
I really hope they make it back up to the Premiership.
ok moving along:

remember this?



now i can add this to it:



tickets have been purchased and i couldn't be happier.

summers turning out just fine, with or without an internship.
i have the rest of my life to work and slog away.
summer holidays are brilliant.

rage against the machine and killswitch engage, in the space of a few days.
what more could i ask for?

all else is well.
knee seems to be recovering.
trying to re-educate my brain and get down to some reading.
for the hell of it.
getting to spend some good old quality time with the gf and the mates.
thats about it for now.

much love to all those who matter.
im out.

shake a leg

3am
lights are all off
im busily surfing friendster, opening multiple tabs on firefox (hate you IE)
all is quiet and still
except for the sound of my mouse clicking.

then I hear it.
rihanna starts singing…
saying she shouldve been faithful…
I panic.
I check my media player…
No rihanna there!
and then I hear fergie
she screams out “lets get this party started”
and I fear for my life.
I imagine my dad shouting
“lets get this beating started”
such loud sounds at 3am…

im a goner.

I open each tab, frantically searching for some way to stop this racket
‘Unfaithful’ has merged with the other song
into one loud cacophony
I search on the friendster pages for a stop button.
No success.

In my panic,
With the thought of my parents breaking open my door,
I do what any sensible lad would do.

I switch off the mains switch.

Good job arzish.
Ever heard of just switching off the sound-blasters?
Good point.

For heavens sake, if you have a friendster page, disable your stupid music.
It makes no difference!

Just because you put a tupac song there doesn’t make you a west-side roller, you fool.
So now youre a thug and all that?
Angling your face and snarling at the camera, throwing up the west side sign, with some jack daniels by your side and a cigarette in your mouth?
Oooh you are like…sooo….intimidating….
Intimidating to a 5 year old more like it.
Come on mate…
Any of them real niggas could beat the daylights out of you, without using his hands or legs.
yes.
With his schlong..
Go get an identity check, and while youre at it, some deodarant.

And ladies, just because you put ‘back that thang up’ doesn’t make you hot, you deformed platypus.
Somebody should back you up into a cage in the zoo.
And give your moustache a shave while theyre at it.

On another totally unrelated note, exams are over
Goodbye to school
Hello to slacking unlimited
I have no internship, thus I am free free
Oh yeah I hurt my knee again.
Good job.
Im contemplating giving up football altogether.
Still thinking hard on it.

Ive been watchin a truckload of movies as of late.
I watched fear and loathing in las vegas.
I think to fully appreciate the movie, one has to be high on some substance or another.
Weed or lsd take your pick.
I saw little miss sunshine.
A thoroughly overrated piece of American trash.
I watched mean girls (sshhh don’t tell everyone) which wasn’t all that bad

Theres one movie that really stood out.
The wind that shakes the barley.
Now that, my friends, is a good film.
It documents the struggle of a bunch of irish lads (they join the IRA) against the fascistic british occupants in Ireland around the 1920s.
The acting and the cinematography were exceptional.

But im sure you’d rather watch something like turistas or the hills have eyes 2.
These horror/gore movies have become so run of the mill.
Bunch of unsuspecting idiots
Throw in a hottie or 2.
They stumble into some psycho(s)
Who tortures each of them
And the camera focuses long and hard on the torture scenes.
Most of the group dies
Save for maybe 1 or 2
Then there’ll be a sequel.

i wish, for once, when the group first stumble across the psycho,
someone in the group yells
“yes! we found what were looking for! A psycho mutant freak who will take great pleasure in torturing us in new, grisly ways, causing most of us to die, and one of us will manage to eventually kill him! Did I mention I was gay?
Success is ours, we found a psycho!”

At this point, the psycho would run off and send, as his representative, a very angry britney spears.
Ooh what torture she would dish out.
She’d shave their heads.
She’d read kabbalah books to them.
She’d sing, in her sexiest (uggh) voice “im a slave 4 u” in their ears.
And for the stubborn ones who didn’t die,
She’d bring back good old k-fed and do a duet with him.
“po-po-prerogative”
that’s the killer blow, no hiding or surviving that one.
oh the horror.

i’d name the film
“the hills have Saws and Spears 4”
I swear I should be in Hollywood.

You can see how much free time I have when im actually reading books and watching movies all day.
Good stuff.

The gf is a bit busy with school work, but soon she’ll be free as well.
Let the good times roll

im looking forward to the NY trip big time
Rage against the machine.
Wu tang clan.
Cypress hill.
Brilliant line up.

aite im out.
gonna watch ‘havoc’…
looks interesting.

catch everyone soon.

peace out a-town.
im out.